COUPLES THERAPY SAN FRANCISCO
In my practice I specialize in assisting couples and relationship partners in learning practical tools, with a focus on: Sexuality, boundaries and consent, identifying and expressing desires and the cultivation of embodied pleasure practices; polyamory and ethical non-monogamy; dating and the early stages of a relationship; addressing power and difference (especially interracial relationships or where there are cultural differences) and the impact of systemic oppression on each individual and relationship dynamics; untangling unconscious normative scripts and internalized 'shoulds' to discover each person's true 'wants'; and relationship transitions, whether that's intentionally de-escalating or thoughtfully moving apart. My goal as couples therapist is to create a space where relationship partners can explore and grow in ways that align with their deepest values and aspirations, increase emotional awareness and overall relationship satisfaction.
While I honor your desire to bring more care to your relationship, this practice won’t be the best fit for you if: There’s ongoing abuse in the relationship (relationship therapy is actually contraindicated in this case, though individual therapy may be helpful); your relationship is characterized by frequent or high levels of conflict; or one partner isn't interested in or committed to participating in the therapeutic process.
And while I use the term "couples" throughout this post for simplicity, I want to emphasize that my practice is inclusive and welcoming of all relationship structures. So whether you're in a polyamorous relationship, part of a non-traditional partnership, or exploring conscious monogamy, I am here to support and work with you. The principles of healthy communication,, understanding, and growth apply across all forms of relationships. My aim is to provide a safe and supportive space for everyone to learn from and explore their unique dynamics, challenges and intentions.
Five highly recommended couples therapists in San Francisco
Like so many of us, I first came to the field of psychotherapy with a broken heart, trying to shed light on a question I so desperately needed answered : “How do we love better?” Having walked the path of committed partnership and marriage for nearly 20 years before going our separate ways, I’m no stranger to the emotional and spiritual depth that can be found in loving relationship, or to what it means to be in the liminal, in-between space of the unknown--needing guidance, understanding and support to find solid ground and a sense of direction and purpose again. Now, as a therapist myself, my deepest care is that all partners in a relationship—whether it be two, three or many—have support in creating a relational toolkit well stocked with the skills and emotional literacy needed to truly thrive.
And I know that finding the right therapist for relationship counseling in San Francisco and the San Francisco Bay Area can be tough, so while we might be a good fit, there's the chance that your own relationship difficulties or particular needs might be better aligned with another therapist, which is why I'm delighted to share the following private practice therapists and coach with you as well. I've worked with each of them for years and can recommend any of them to you, warmly. You'll find their profiles and more information just after my own, below. (And if you reach out to one of them, tell them I sent 'ya.)
Kristina Scott
I was born and raised in Northern California, and spent several of my formative years in Hawaii, so my heart sings to the sound of the ocean. Going down this life path has led me in so many different directions, always eager to share with, and care for, the collective. I hold so many identities, almost all of them lightly: Mixed race (Afro-Latin & White), second-generation immigrant and Adult Third Culture Kid, cis-gendered, straight, middle-aged, divorced, childfree-by-choice, Relationship Anarchist, homesteader, wannabe surfer and Tolkien nerd.
Associate Marriage & Family Therapist, Lic. #125384 (Supervised by Gieve Patel, LMFT, Lic. #47196)
Certificate in Sex Therapy, California Institute for Integral Studies, 2020
Somatic Experiencing Trainee, Advanced Level II
MA, Integral Counseling Psychology--California Institute for Integral Studies
MA, Education--Stanford University
BA, Community Studies--UC Santa Cruz
Offering in-person couples counseling, San Francisco; and online throughout the state of California
In practice since: 2019
Modalities & Theoretical Orientation: Mindfulness, Buddhist Psychology, Liberation Psychology, Ecopsychology, Systems Theory, Social Justice
2. Taune Lyons
For people seeking couples therapy or marriage counseling, Taune Lyons offers an approach that emphasizes deep connection, authentic communication, and understanding one's partner on a soulful level. Her therapy is grounded in attachment theory and nervous system regulation, aimed at helping couples navigate relationship dynamics, intimacy issues, and personal growth together. Taune's methods are especially beneficial for those looking to deepen their relationship through mindfulness and self-awareness, offering strategies for more meaningful and fulfilling partnerships.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. # 138435
Somatic Experiencing Pracitioner (SEP)
MA, Integral Counseling Psychology--California Institute for Integral Studies; BA Psychology and Creative Writing--Antioch University
Specialty area(s): Somatics ; intimacy; sexuality; kink; attachment theory; ecotherapy; and spirituality
In practice since: 2019
3. Alexis Hunter
I recommend couples consider working with Alexis Hunter for her holistic approach to therapy, which emphasizes mind-body techniques tailored to relationship healing and personal growth. Alexis's practice focuses on helping couples navigate and overcome relationship challenges, promoting deeper connections and understanding between partners. Her therapy style is compassionate, down-to-earth, and trauma-informed, offering a nurturing environment for couples to explore and resolve their issues. Alexis's commitment to creating a safe and affirming space, combined with her expertise in addressing anxiety, relational trauma, and mid-life and ageing, makes her an excellent choice for couples seeking to strengthen their relationship.
Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. #130261
MA Integral Counseling Psychology, California Institute for Integral Studies; BA Communications--UCLA
Specialty area(s): EFT (Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy); mid-life transitions; ageing and relationship; non-dual spirituality and mindfulness; Hakomi
In practice since: 2020
4. Simone Writer
Simone Writer offers a deeply empathetic and transformative approach to couples therapy, emphasizing the healing power of relationships. Her work is rooted in understanding the impact of cultural norms and systemic oppression on personal connections, aiming to cultivate more compassionate, authentic, and intimate relationships. Simone’s non-pathologizing, culturally sensitive, and trauma-informed perspective supports couples in overcoming intimacy and communication challenges, exploring boundaries, and nurturing meaningful connections. Her background and holistic approach make her an exceptional choice for couples seeking to deepen their relationship and navigate life’s complexities together.
Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. #136712
MA Integral Counseling Psychology--California Institute for Integral Studies; MA Women, Gender, Spirituality, and Social Justice--California Institute for Integral Studies; BA Economics-- Federal University of Rio de Janeiro
Specialty area(s): Intimacy and communication challenges; codependency and boundaries; intimacy, and playfulness; and working through reactivity toward greater presence and mindfulness.
In practice since: 2020
5. Kate Harvi
Kate Harvi brings a wealth of experience to her work as an intimacy and relationship therapist. From helping support new parents to reconnect and orient to their new reality, to using a social justice lens to help relationship partners understand the systemic oppression that lies at the heart of them repeating the same arguments, she offers a deeply creative, embodied and direct communication style grounded in compassion, and that is wholeheartedly celebratory of clients of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and relational structures.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. #151831
MA, Integral Counseling Psychology--California Institute for Integral Studies; BFA in Dance --Tisch School of the Arts
Specialty area(s): Online couples therapy; LGBTQIAA2S+ issues; polyamory & non-monogamy; somatics and embodiment; internalized systems of oppression; dance and performance art
In practice since 2019
Email Kate at: KateHarviTherapy@gmail.com
FAQs about relationship counseling in San Francisco
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When you seek couples therapy, the there’s a range of professionals available to work with, including Marriage and Family Therapists (MFTs), who specialize in relational issues, Licensed Clinical social Workers (LCSWs) with a focus on social factors affecting relationships, psychologists (Ph.D. or Psy.D.) who can offer both therapy and assessments for underlying issues, and psychiatrists (MD) who can prescribe medication if needed alongside therapy. And while a therapist's credentials can and should inform your process, when it comes to finding the right kind of support, they’re just one piece of the puzzle. Also take into consideration compatibility and alignment with your values, needs, and personalities, as well as their therapeutic approach, and experience working new clients with similar relationship issues, so that all partners are able to feel understood, respected, and comfortable.
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There are variety of modalities and therapeutic approaches used in couples therapy that can make wading through your therapy options daunting because each modality brings its own unique approach to supporting relationship growth and healing. Some of the more common modalities of couples counseling that you might find are: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which focuses on strengthening the emotional bond between partners; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which aims to change negative patterns of thoughts and behaviors affecting the relationship; the Gottman Method which uses research-based strategies to increase intimacy, respect, and affection; and Narrative Therapy which helps couples reframe and retell their relationship's stories in a more empowering way.
It's important to understand that one modality is not necessarily better than another; effectiveness is deeply personal and varies from couple to couple. The "best" form of therapy depends on the specific needs, personalities, and dynamics of the relationship. A modality that resonates well with one couple might not be as effective for another. Therefore, the process of choosing the right approach involves considering the particular challenges faced within each relationship and your shared goals for therapy. The key to success lies in finding a therapeutic approach that aligns with your shared values and intentions, facilitated by a therapist with whom you feel comfortable, compassionately challenged, and understood.
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Starting relationship therapy is like nurturing a garden—it requires dedication, care and patience. It has the potential to be a deeply transformative process, provides a safe space for couples to explore their feelings, communicate effectively, and strengthen their emotional connection, giving relationship partners the chance to better understand each other’s needs and desires, resolve conflicts, and rejuvenate their intimacy and sexual relationship. And like learning a new dance together, where missteps are part of the process, the potential for newfound harmony and flow are incomparable.
However, it’s important to remember that each couple's therapy journey is as unique as their love story. What works wonders for one couple might not work for another. The value of couples therapy sessions truly lies in the willingness of each partner to invest in their relationship, get vulnerable and grow.
While contemporary research shows that relationship distress is one of the greatest factors when it comes to negatively impacting our mental health, it also shows that relationship therapy can be effective in decreasing painful patterns and increasing a sense of well being. Ultimately, your own experience will be shaped by your specific challenges, goals, and the therapeutic alliance you build. As someone deeply committed to supporting others in bettering the relationships and connections that lie at the very heart of our humanity, I encourage all relationship partners to approach therapy with an open heart and spirit of collaboration, allowing the relationship itself to serve as a pathway to deeper understanding of yourselves, one another, and what lies between you.
I’m here to support you in finding connection to yourself and others.
I'm committed to helping you and your partner(s) navigate the complexities of your relationship, offering tools to enhance intimacy, communication, and understanding. Whether it's exploring new aspects of sexuality, finding ways to better your physical connection, premarital counseling, learning skills for more effective communication, negotiating the dynamics of non-monogamy, marriage counseling or addressing the impacts of systemic oppression, my goal is to hold space for everyone to grow and find fulfillment. If you're interested in learning more, I invite you to reach out for a free consultation call. Let's explore how we can work together to align your relationship with your deepest, truest 'Yes.'